i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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