break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
