plz talk dirty to me
nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Randomize