Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
wow bdsm is so cute
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
