I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
Randomize
