so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
