Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I'm officially "accidentally set myself on fire" drunk
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
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