Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
I supernannyed him into submission
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
Randomize
