they need to just BURY HIM!
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
