Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Randomize
