Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
I realized last night, I never talk dirty in German during sex. How much wasted potential is that?
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
I just forgot I was standing up.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize