I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
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