When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
Randomize
