It's Friday. Sex?
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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