The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
40s are totally the cure
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
