getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
Every concussion has its silver lining
I'm pregnant.
The fact that this number is not in my contacts is giving me hope it's a wrong number???
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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