my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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