My cat gives me a boner
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
