All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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