i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
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