yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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