is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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