Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
pop tarts are not kleenex
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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