I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
This is even better than the wine from my laundry basket
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
Randomize
