Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Alive.
So much puke
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I wear drunk well.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
