Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
