Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
Everyone was high fiveing on their a walks of shame home. God im gonna miss college life
you're close to getting here right? Because if you're still not here and I have to get dressed to answer the door for the pizza guy, i'm tipping him $100 on your credit card to spite you
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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