rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Randomize
