Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
Randomize
