The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
Just threw up in my seat during the national anthem. Probably not good.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
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