if you like me you must not know who I am
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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