i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
