Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
God, you're like boner-b-gone
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
