I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
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