There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
