I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize