I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
