I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
