While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Randomize
