Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Imma go take shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
