we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Dude, I'm importing a boy from Oklahoma for my divorce party. It's like doctors without borders, but with dicks.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
