i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
i want to swaddle you in tequila
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
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