i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Im glad your laughing because im currently convincing my penis you didnt mean it and its all gunna be ok.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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