Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
