i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
