that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
it's great music for shaving your balls
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
