I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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