I'll bet she douches with gravy.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
