Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
Randomize
