Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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