Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
