he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
No subtext here. People are naked.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
