I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
