I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
it's great music for shaving your balls
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
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