i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
It's days like today, when my bra and underwear match, that make me feel like I'm getting my life together...
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
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