Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
