why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
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