does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
