Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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