loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
It's official drugs can't kill me
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
