You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
This fucking storm better not ruin my sex plans this weekend
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
