u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
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